Visiting ethicist invited a 海角在线 audience Monday evening to join a conversation experiment she has seen open up deeper levels of friendship 鈥渁nd a better way of doing relationships.”
Her presentation, one of three she gave in the Provost鈥檚 Distinguished Scholar Lecture Series, examined vainglory, 鈥渁 largely forgotten character problem鈥� that actually might be our most familiar vice, she said. DeYoung, Calvin University professor and author, began her explanation of vainglory with Jesus鈥� words: 鈥淏e careful not to let your righteousness be seen by men.鈥�
鈥淚t鈥檚 all about appearances,鈥� she said. 鈥淲e just want attention from people.鈥�
Social media has vaulted vainglory to a new level, DeYoung said, but being overly dependent on adulation from others was an issue long before the internet arrived. 鈥淗ave you ever exaggerated something about yourself in order to impress people listening?鈥� she asked. 鈥淲e all know how to play this game. Much of what we do with our words is to manufacture, puree and engineer a wonderful image of ourselves.鈥�
One way to detach from the excessive need for adulation from others, she said, is to 鈥渢ake away the audience.鈥� Sitting in solitude, in silence before God, 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to perform.鈥� Our problem, she said, springs from 鈥渢he fact that we don鈥檛 trust God to give us what we need. Take the larger view. The real validation is who I am before God.鈥�
But what about when you are among others? 鈥淲hat if you had to let your actions speak for themselves?鈥� DeYoung asked. Addressing students, faculty, staff and guests in the DeSantis Family Chapel, she gave the homework assignment she has given to her Calvin students and to her own family: Try going for a week silencing all talk about yourself.
鈥淢y students found it excruciatingly difficult,鈥� said DeYoung, 鈥淎nd I concur with that assessment.鈥� But her students reported that as they struggled to 鈥渟hut up about themselves,鈥� by the end of the week, they saw something powerful happening in their social interactions: they were creating space for other people to talk and share with them.
Listening and receiving from others, DeYoung said, made a different level of interaction and intimacy possible. She has challenged students with this experiment 鈥渟emester after semester,鈥� she said, and afterwards, 鈥渢hey pretty consistently said to me, 鈥業 feel like my friendships are better.鈥�
鈥淢aybe God is inviting us into a new and better way of doing relationships,鈥� she said.
In addition to her evening lecture, on Monday morning DeYoung spoke to a large chapel audience at Family Church Downtown, sharing on the topic 鈥淲hy Are You Angry? Exploring the Deadly Sin of Wrath.鈥� Tuesday morning in the Graduate School of Ministry Chapel at Memorial Presbyterian Church, she spoke on the subject of her newest book,
DeYoung earned her Ph.D. in philosophy from the University of Notre Dame and has taught ethics and the history of ancient and medieval philosophy for more than 20 years.
Provost Dr. Chelly Templeton praised DeYoung for her thought-provoking presentations during her visit to 海角在线. 鈥淲e are blessed to be a Christian liberal arts university,鈥� she said, 鈥渂ecause we are free to have ideas and exchange thoughts and invite speakers on topics we may not have thought about, that may not be in the sphere of our major. Dr. DeYoung has challenged the mind and touched the heart in a way that speaks to all of us.鈥�
